Nipclub, June 18th, 2026, Sekurity Update by Slinky, @Slinky_the_Cat, Sekurity Agent, Late Nite shift

Game and fish night? We’ve gone fishing!

I had a squad car, a nifty uniform, and I checked fishing licenses. Gator, Pearl, Jeego, and the usual crowd were there, and Moo had just finished her barktending shift, so she will return later.

I had to check Jeego’s fishing license as she had a huge golden fish. Is that legal? Pearl served Hamm’s beer and custom ‘gone fishing’ cookies while I questioned Jeego. She said, “No license,” so I blew my whistle and ran after her.

Jeego ran off while Gator asked if cats could fish without a license. I said, “Not in this park!” I wrote Jeego a ticket, but Jeego had disappeared! I figured she wouldn’t hide for very long, especially when we started grilling all the fish that we’d legally caught.

Pearl served up some salmon Gator made; butterflied, grilled and served with lemon slices and ocean-blue cocktails with candy fish floating in them. 

Mizz Bassie showed up. Everyone was busily chatting; I couldn’t keep up as I had to go out and patrol the park.

Raven showed up and said something about her human rinsing hair dye out of her hair. Sounds like a typical human thing to do, dyeing their fur!

Jeego still lurked about, and Pearl served blackened fish with lemon and butter, with a selection of wines. TJS arrived and LATE NITE started on time. We drank wine and snarfed down buttery fish.

Bunty showed up; haven’t seen him for ages! He’s a major in the Zombie Squad, ZSHQ. Louis arrived and negotiated with Angus for DJ booth rights and playlists for LATE NITE.

Chefs in the Nipclub kitchens prepared a special dessert, maple pecan sourdough pudding cake à la mode! Wow meow! Oh, and flying fish-flavored beer. No, wait! Flying Fish brand lemon-flavored beer!

We danced to goth symphonic metal music (Nightwish), served up by Louis in the DJ booth! We all danced! However, Louis had a counterpoint music set with Jimmy Buffett songs! What a contrast! I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Louis found some techno with throat singing that was mind-blowing! I’m a new fan of Ummet Ozcan! Louis killed it with the more obscure music, such as Lacuna Coil, and in a total counterattack, Angus played Christopher Cross, “Sailing!” Then Nightwish vs. another Christopher Cross song. It was the weirdest musical combination I’d ever witnessed.

After Pearl went home, I made some blue drinks in fish-shaped tumblers and smoked salmon canapés. Then I caught Angus fishing illegally, so I wrote him a ticket. As I gave it to him, I mentioned paying a fine, and he asked what it was: Could he pay $5 or could he clean up the bar? Angus tried to get out of the fine and tried to convince me he could sing for his supper. No way; clean up or sign up for the 16-hour online course about fishing rules and etiquette. Gator asked if there was a test, and Angus considered his options.

Louis went back into the DJ booth and played a few rock songs by Ghost and Rob Zombie. He played a classic Rob Zombie tune, “Dracula,” to close out the night.

Moo showed up for a final nightcap and snack, and I escorted her to her car and closed down the bar. I never found Jeego again, so I’ll mail the ticket or save it until next week!

Until next week!

Slinky the Cat

Nipclub Sekurity Report, Thursday, June 11, 2026, Late Shift

We were in Australia tonight for the historic gold rush! It’s a ye olde timey party with grainy, sepia-toned avatars. Harvey, K-Boi, and Pearl were here, as was chef and fashion designer Gator.

While spelunking near Lightning Ridge, prior to arriving, I discovered an opal, though no gold. Lightning Ridge produced the world’s best black opals. We were basically camping and having fun panning for bits of gold, and we had the best provisions.

Pearl made beautifully moist skillet brownies as our starter; sweet treats for the miners! Pearl mentioned she found one small opal some time ago.

Raven was lurking, and K-Boi mentioned horrendously windy weather where he is: 65 miles per hour winds! What? Pearl said that’s normal where she is. Whoa! That seemed like a hurricane to me.

Tiger Tommy, the NASCAR kitty, showed up! He’d been in the outback DJ booth and snuck out and surprised us. He’s filling in for Alfie tonight. Tiger Tommy played Australian bands like AC/DC, the Split Endz, and more. He’s usually here much earlier, so I rarely see him.

Pearls served some savories, such as Shepherd’s pie and sausage rolls. There was a delicious stew, too. Apparently, typical outback miner grub!

If this is what the miners were eating, then sign me up!

Mizz Bassie showed up just in time for our feast! Pearl showed us a cool, vintage advertisement from what looked like the 1950s that featured slices of Treat lunch meat with pineapple.

The colors and graphics were excellent. Treat is like Spam, but a unique brand; a Spam analogue. So we talked about Treat vs. Spam. Very exciting discussion!

Harvey’s human took a painting workshop, and he showed us a work in progress, a beautiful illustration of a frog prince. It looked like the artist used watercolor paints, and the vibrant colors included greens with purple and pink.

LATE NITE began with more Australian music!

Pearl served us some Aussie cheesecake jelly slices that were something new to a few of us. Its appearance was quite striking, featuring cookie crumbs at its foundation, cheesecake within, plus a vivid fruit gelatin layer crowning it.

It was superb!

Pearl and Mizz Bassie became too tired to stay any later, and then Raven left so it was the LATE LATE NITE crew, and I was behind the bar.

Moo arrived late, just in time for me to open a nice bottle of Australian Shiraz and pour 2 glasses as she sat at the bar.

LATE NITE turned into a music-sharing session again, with The Hu, Digeridoo music, Somelinez, etc. We listened to all kinds of cool music: throat singing, indigenous voices, heavy metal bagpipes, and shamisen!

Our fun was so great that we lost track of time and LATE NITE continued an hour later than planned.

I served mini Shepards pies, coffee and cognac for our nightcaps. The discussion and listening were rewarding, as we all learned some new musical influences.

Until next week! 

Slinky_the_Cat, NipClub Sekurity

Nipclub, June 4th, 2026, Sekurity Update by Slinky, @Slinky_the_Cat, Sekurity Agent, Late Nite shift

It’s a psychedelic 60s pawty!

Everyone was excited because Gator was back! He made sekurity the grooviest uniforms; we wore tie-dye suits with matching sunglasses.

Harvey and Raven were there when I arrived. I hadn’t seen Raven for ages! She gave me a kiss on the cheek, which made me blush! Harvey’s mum had a cold, so I asked Pearl to send her a cup of hot tea.

Mizz Bassie showed up in her psychedelic vintage VW bug. Pearl was serving pink petit fours and lava lamp shots. So trippy! Harvey admired Mizz Bassie’s car.

Harvey, Mizz, and Raven talked about the weather, particularly rain, and Harvey said they have a garden where his humans planted round carrots. Gardens are always fun to explore.   

Calm security meant no spammers emerged. Our JustGiving link worked great and didn’t attract unwanted spam zombies. I checked the cameras throughout the night, but there was not much to report.

Pearl served a cool cocktail that reminded me of a tiki drink, and I asked if we’d ever had a tiki-themed party? A retro-luau, Trader Vic’s style shindig? No one remembered such an event, and Gator thought it was a fun idea, so he added it to the July pawty lineup.

I’m excited about listening to surf rock, Latin jazz and drinking out of pineapples! Count me in!

Delicious pesto pizza, prepared by Pearl, awaited guests at the bar when TJS arrived promptly to greet attendees.

Gator really loves pesto! We talked about tiki and how to make pesto, including variations with different nuts and herbs, etc. Pearl wasn’t that familiar with it, so we helped her with suggestions and recipes. Pearl said pine nuts grow in her area, so that was a bonus!

After the pizza, she made fresh grilled trout with fruit salsa and more psychedelic cocktails.

LATE NITE crept in, and all the discussion about pesto made us lose track of time so that we forgot about the music! The DJ booth stood empty, prompting me to encourage Angus to play music for us.

While waiting for Angus to get ready, I jumped into the booth and started playing a few late 60s classic songs from The Kinks, Traffic, and The Doors, keeping it psychedelic. Then Angus stepped into the DJ booth and played The Turtles and Simon & Garfunkel. It was so fun tag-teaming the music.

After Pearl left, I made some snacks: violet-colored Aviation cocktails and empanadas. TJS showed up for a proper conversation while we wound it down.

We had a lot of fun towards the end when Angus wore a wreath of flowers on his head and bopped in the DJ booth. We compared tails: his nubby and mine twisted, so we decided we were both special kittehs.

I served a nightcap and then closed the bar. It was too late to stay up any longer!

Until next week!

Slinky the Cat

Nipclub May 21, 2026, Sekurity Update by Slinky, @Slinky_the_Cat, Sekurity Agent, Late Nite shift

It’s time for a Sunday drive on a Thursday night! 

It was a lazy afternoon…. I pulled up in my 1954 Buick Skylark convertible, creamy yellow with a red interior. Swanky!

Pearl was there with her dune buggy and started serving the sweets: classic-car shaped cookies. Moo left, but said she’d be back later. Ragamuffin finished work with minimal news, save one tender toe bean. The v-e-t said she would be fine and the toe bean wasn’t broken; we even saw the X-rays! The new JustGiving charity link didn’t seem to attract spammers like the other thing we used to use.

Raven pulled up in a deep rose-pink Cadillac convertible, circa 1955. It was purrfect! Her bestie, Sprinkles the hamster, was riding in the car with her. We don’t see Sprinkles very often, so that was fun.

Raven said someone drove by and stole our donut holes earlier, though! K-Boi suddenly chimed in and said not to worry about the donut hole situation. It was just a minor infraction. Anyway, there were more donut holes and coffee to go with them! Pearl then made some beautiful fruity cocktails, and I decided on the meowjito.

Angus showed up and wanted to go for a ride in one of our vintage cars, so I said I would give him a ride later. P and Jeego arrived, with Jeego wearing a Seattle Mariners ball cap; they love their sports teams!

Alfie was in the DJ booth. I checked the sekurity cameras and then I went outside to check the grounds. Pearl served delicious lobster with butter sauce, and the lobster-flavored butter was so good. Mizz Bassie arrived just in time for anything buttery!

We had some newcomers: Amber and her cute tortie cat, Precious! We all welcomed them to Nipclub and hope they can stop by every week. It’s always nice to see new anipals!  

Pearl served up classic drive-in fare: burgers, fries, Cokes, milkshakes, and ice cream, all on those little trays that hook onto your car window.

So inventive!

Next, we enjoyed a ride in the Skylark. Mizz Bassie, Angus, and Louis climbed in and I drove us towards the beach. It was a perfectly warm evening, with the breeze in our fur! The smell of frangipani blossoms was intoxicating, along with the sound of waves hitting the shore.

K-Boi showed up in his custom 1957 Chevy! It’s beyond cool, and that V-8 engine has its own special rumble. We cruised along the shoreline, then returned to the bar for further merriment.

Pearl went home, and I stayed and served some meowjitos and shrimp empanadas while Angus played music. K-boi played a song, too. We talked about boat-like huge vintage cars, and I served a nightcap layered shot with Kahlua and marzipan-stuffed dates as a sweet reprise.

I was getting tired, so it was time to wrap it up.

I enticed Louis and Angus with to-go bags of nice snacks like car-shaped cookies and burgers and bid them adieu.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend! 

Until next week!

Slinky the Cat

Nipclub May 14, 2026, Sekurity Update by Slinky, @Slinky_the_Cat, Sekurity Agent, Late Nite shift

The theme was Bridgerton, which is an American TV romance series set in the English Regency period of high society.

I had never heard of it, and had yet to watch it, but Regency-era speech? Let’s do this!

Mr. Gator procured elegant dress uniforms for us, and they called the security “The Bow Street Runners.” I employed the Regency period dialect, circa England 1811-1820, for the duration of the Nipclub soiree.

Upon my arrival, Mr. Gator was discoursing on the hiring of goats to consume invasive flora on his acreage. Mr. Gator remarked sekurity had a calm time of it, as there was a distinct lack of activity this evening, to which I replied, “I am quite relieved to learn of the area’s freedom from criminal activity.”

We partook of delectable victuals such as one might find at a high English tea: Comté cheese tartlets, raspberry charlotte cake, cucumber finger sandwiches, Pimm’s cup, and the like.

The fare was most agreeable.

Mr. Gator mentioned goat cheese, chèvre, and we engaged in conversation regarding cheeses, and even a fetching Pinot noir with a chev upon the label.

Mizz Bassie confessed she had to consult the records on Bridgerton, whilst I admitted I did not consult the records; I simply embraced the Regency style with abandon. It proves a tad tedious employing the translator, but it was such a delight to surprise one’s companions with high-society Regency parlance.

Mr. Gator’s wine was exceptional, and we sipped wine whilst conversing about fine cheeses and fruit pairings.

Crime was virtually nonexistent, even when sharing our charity of the week link. Slow and steady, as my iPaw met an ill fate by crashing, even after the latest update.

TJS made a brief appearance, as is they were wont, and Mr. Louis inquired after Mr. Angus, to determine if he might play music; alas, technological difficulties beset him as well, and he could not grace the party in person.

Mr. Louis was holding forth on his new Android tablet, avowing it to be the most superlative device imaginable! He inquired what I employed; I possess an iPaw, which has functioned admirably until this evening, of course.

Mr. Louis chattered on, oblivious of the Regency theme.

Mr. Louis determined to partake of refreshments, and sampled the stuffed chicken, gin fizz, and delightful cake. Tonight’s repast was refined, visually pleasing, and delicious.

Raven graced us with her presence and was greatly impressed by my Regency-era English. Miss Pearl DM’d me, relating that she had been shadow banned, thus I assumed responsibility for the bar for the last three quarters of an hour.

Mr. Louis, Miss Raven, and I remained; Miss Raven departed after a time, and Mr. Louis and I partook of after-dinner drinks. Mr. Louis expressed a desire to sample the beef Wellington, thus I obliged him with a delectable repast.

We chatted, sipped our beverages, and I tidied up and departed in my awaiting carriage.

It was a lovely evening!

Until next week!

Slinky the Cat