Nipclub March 12, 2026: Sekurity Update

Nipclub Thursday, March 12, 2026, Sekurity Update by Slinky, @Slinky_the_Cat, Sekurity Agent, Late Nite shift

Saint Patrick’s Day Nipclub, March 12. The Sekurity team outfitted themselves in lucky green velour tracksuits, and we had drones at the ready to zap some leprechauns!

When I arrived for my shift, Gator was filling in for Moo at the bar and was serving the coolest bar snack: pot-o-gold Jell-O shots complete with tiny candy rainbows!

Extraordinary!

Suddenly, everyone showed up at the same time: P and Jeego, Raven, Mizz Bassie, Pearl, and TJS. After exchanging greetings, I went outside and launched a drone with night vision to scout out the area. I programmed it to go all over the property and report back in real time. I saw a few slow-moving green dots on the camera, then they gathered behind some trees.

Pearl was at the bar, cooking salmon with bright green catnip pesto sauce, and I put my plate aside so I could quickly go out on the golf cart, taser at the ready. I saw TJS and asked if he wanted to help nab some leprechauns.

I slowly drove up to the thick bushes where I saw the activity and got off the cart, taser aimed on stun. I saw movement: four individuals and zapped three of them! I zip-tied the three stunned leprechauns, and the fourth ran off. I knew I would find him later! I put the three in the back of the golf cart and transported them to Nipclub jail.

Score!

I went back to the bar to chill for a bit and had a drink before time to go out to look for the fourth leprechaun.

Louis (@Psiangelic) the panfur showed up for LATE NITE! With a new handle name, I didn’t recognize Louis right away, but “Louisiana the cat” is Louis, whose full name is Louisiana Cajun Black.

Exceptional name!

Pearl serves us gorgeous green cocktails, creamy potato leek soup, and lasagna.

Angus showed up, slipped into the DJ booth, and played some fun Irish music! LATE NITE fun!

Moo showed up late and asked what we were doing. We explained we were listening to bawdy Irish music and eating cheesecake! What else would we be doing?

It’s getting late. Pearl and Moo, the barktenders, had to leave.

I stayed longer, served a nightcap, and locked up the bar. I served the iconic Irish coffee, à la the Buena Vista in San Francisco, and a lovely charcuterie plate with Irish cheeses, crackers, cured meats, and olives to close out the night. I furnished doggie bags for everyone who wanted one and then called it a night.

I never went back out to look for the fourth leprechaun. Oh well.

Until next week!

Slinky the Cat