To Bathe or Not To Bathe, That is The Question

Firstly, hello and welcome along to the wonderful Anipal Times. My name is Bob, and I’m your Agony Uncle.

My first email raises the very impawtant question – “To Bath or Not To Bath”. Recently, someone bathed Fred, whose name was changed to protect privacy, even though he fought heroically after he refused a bath.

Dear Bob

Let me set the scene, Fred says. He was walking along with his hooman whilst out walking in the lovely countryside where he lives and came upon the most gorgeous, premium, irresistible scent in the air that he knew he had to investigate and discover – if only to enter it into his Catalogue of Smells!

Well, when he looked back to see his hooman talking to anofur hooman, he thought he would check it out himself … so he did. When he got there, he realised it was indeed the most exquisite smell efur a dog could come across and knew instantly that he needed to have it upon himself. He rolled and rolled in it to ensure he covered every inch of himself in this luxurious smell! Proudly, he couldn’t wait to get back to his hooman to let them smell for themselves this wondrous smell! A true delicate bouquet for the nostrils!

Anyway, upon his return to his hooman, who incidentally was still talking to the other hooman, he went and sat right next to them and looked up at them, smiling. Then, a complete fluff explosion occurred. His hooman shrieked and shouted, “You smelly ****” (this word cannot be repeated ), then took away Fred’s freedom and liberties by grabbing his harness and taking him home. On reaching home, the hooman took Fred, who put up the most heroic fight for at least 30 mins, before being tricked with a treat, to the bathroom. They indeed trapped him in there and bathed him without a please or thank you.

Poor Fred lost his exquisite smell, and someone bathed him without his consent. Yes, consider this: Someone bathed Fred without his consent.

Dear Fred,

I think I’m not the only one who thinks they mistreated you when they gave you a bath without your consent. In fact, I believe your hooman needs a serious talking to about this unacceptable behaviour. I, for one, will come along to your home and back you up in this serious talking-to. They took your choice and liberties without consent, and you need to make them aware of this.

I would like you, the readers, to let me and Fred know your opinion on this matter. Do you think, like me, that their hooman needs a proper talk with? What would you do?

Please let us know in the comments.

Thank you.