Hello everyone!

I have received a rather interesting quandary from a pal. Let’s say their name is Fred. So let’s investigate this dilemma and try to help him.

So dear Fred tells me ….

“I am always finding interesting food stuffs whilst out and about, such as pavement sausage rolls, McD bags with leftovers, bread rolls etc. and although my human says LEAVE IT, the foodstuffs are telling me otherwise. I can hear them each calling me. EAT ME, I AM YUMMY, DO IT YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. Obs that calling is much louder than any human and makes far more sense to me and so I don’t leave it and often take it. I receive reprimands or sulking, called a “Bad Boy,” when I know this isn’t true. I don’t understand. Can you help me, Uncle Bob?”

So let’s think about this: we know food found is food to eat, that smell is important, and that any pavement sausage rolls are merely a gift from the universe, right?

So morally, you Fred are merely acting with sincerity and enthusiasm.

Humans cannot grasp this idea, unfortunately. Still, we ought to contemplate their viewpoint, recognizing they might hold valid points.

Let us ponder these matters and investigate. Many, err “delicacies” we furs find outdoors can make us seriously ill — fur example, cooked bones, raisins, chocolate, mouldy food, onions, xylitol, wrappers, spoiled meat, and dog furbid intentional nasty things deliberately left out by evil hoos.

Humans ruin these exciting finds and adventures with phrases like “blockages” and “visit to the vet,” and “pooing and sicking like a wrong en” or similar words to the same effect – but they have a point. None of us really want to be poorly or go to the vet unnecessarily, do we?

So for us, I would say that the true quandary we ask ourselves is:

“Do I follow my instincts?””Or trust the anxious human holding the lead?”

One might wisely consider:

If the food is indoors and offered lovingly, eat immediately.If the food is outdoors and suspiciously available, perhaps consult the human oracle first.

Or, to put it more simply:

Dog logic: “Finders keepers.”
Human logic: “Please don’t eat bin food.”
Truth: the human is probably saving your stomach and your dignity (no fur wants to be seen pooing and frowing up, right)?

The hardest part for us furs is that “LEAVE IT” feels deeply unreasonable in the moment and often feels more like a challenge. That smell creates urgency and excitement and calls us to act fast.

We often struggle with impulse control outdoors since scavenging is instinctive, rewarding, and self-reinforcing.

So I say, is it:

Morally evil? Absolutely not.
Understandable? Entirely.
Wise? Regrettably, often not.

So, so take away let’s say that OUR GREATEST VIRTUE MAY BE TO LEARN THAT BOT EVERY INTERESTING SMELL OR FOUND FOOD STUFF IS A GOOD LIFE CHOICE AND TO PERHAPS TRUST OUR HUMANS ON THIS AS THEY HAVE OUR BEST INTERESTS.

What do you think, pals? Are you facing the same dilemma?

“Deer Bob 

I iz hopin yoo can giff me sum adfise? I iz a innosent lil furr hoo keeps gettin da blame for stuff. Der iz a big cat dat wait for me too be sumwer n do stuff like hide boomstix or blow Sumfin up or set fire too sumfin or reek havuk n me get da blaem. It juss da coinsidense dat me der. But her sneekie n noe furr see himz. How Duz me get owt ob deez sichuashuns coz noe furr beeleef me? I aff chanjed mine name to stae anonymonous.

Fangks 
Anonomous”

Ooh my dog — what a pickle you be in. Being an innocent little fur repeatedly framed for boomstix, fires, and general havoc is enough to make anyone’s tail droop and floof stand on end.

First things first: If trouble keeps happening wherever you are, others may mistake coincidence for cause. While you know you’re not lighting the boomstix or lighting fires, to others, it looks like you arrive and—boom—havoc follows.

Here’s what you can do:

Distance yourself from things for a while, avoid danger locations: fireworks sheds, boomstix cupboards, and anywhere marked “Danger.” If nothing booms when you’re not around, that speaks louder than words.

Gather proof. Loudly insisting, “It wasn’t me!” rarely convinces anyone. Instead, try to document events. If you suspect the big cat is lurking, set up witnesses, mirrors, footprints, or even a simple “trap” that reveals who really set the boomstix, like a hidden camera.

Be visibly helpful, fix things, save others before things go wrong. Nothing confuses an accusation like being a hero.

Stop playing alone. The cat succeeds because you’re alone. Stick close to others, especially authority figures. It’s much harder to frame a fur who’s never by themselves.

Finally, remember this: being blamed doesn’t mean being guilty. You are innocent.With patience, evidence, and a little strategic thinking, the truth has a way of coming out.

Stay safe, stay smart, and keep yourself out of the boomstix radius.

Bob’s Your Uncle