Category: Columnists

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Guest Post: Angel Alma (and Mum) Introduction

~ McPusspusses ~ 1 Comment

Hi, I’m Angel Alma, and I am honored to visit McPusspuss Musings as a guest writer. I’m a Finnish tabby girl, born in a country house owned by mum’s friends. Mum collected me as a tiny kitten to live with my big brofur Aimo. We lived in Southeast Finland, near the eastern border, where Mum began birdwatching. SE Finland is a wonderful and interesting birding area, with bigger and smaller lakes, rivers, forests, and lots of countryside. The Gulf of Finland is not too far, either.

I had to travel over the Rainbow Bridge because of an illness. I had already been on cat Twitter and made many good friends there, like Angus and his family, so I decided to stay there as Angel Alma.

Mum is still a birdwatcher and loves nature overall. She lives now in a town near the big river Kymijoki, surrounded by wide fields and smaller lakes, and of course forests.

We are going to tell you about the nature in Finland, mostly near us. It’s lovely even to just visit the nearby park or watch birds during your daily walk. Just keep your eyes and ears open and enjoy.

TJ and Bart: Walking in da Rain

~ TJ and Bart ~ Leave a comment

TJ: Good evening! We are TJ and Bart. We are both Doxies, and we write for da Anipal Times. Dis is TJ.

Bart: Dis is Bart. I am a purebred Doxie. TJ is a mix. But we love him anyway.

TJ: Dat not nice, Bart.

Bart: It’s da truth!

TJ: Okay, let’s talk about doggie walks. Our people always ask why doggos dislike walking in da rain?

Bart: Yeah! Dis is so simple. Cause we dislike walking on wet grass. Having wet grass on your tummy…and other areas…is not a good feeling.

TJ: And den when we want to go inside, the human wants us to stay outside until we finish!

Bart: I cannot see why dey get upset when we use da bathroom inside da house!

TJ: Humans are weird. Doggos, if you’re reading dis and want to share your thoughts on dis very important topic, let us know!

Bart: Exactly! Now I want a treat! Dis writing is hard work!

TJ: I heard Dat!

Caturday Confessions from Trickle & Matilda!

~ Truman ~ Leave a comment

It’s time for Caturday Confessions!

Kittens Trickle and Matilda, one of our columnist pairs, will now share a wonderful confession!

Today, we, Matilda and Trickle, are proud to announce we’ve ruined our reputation as model kittens! At 6 months old, we thought we should do some grown-up cat stuff.

M: So I, Matilda, caught a mouse! Such fun after I’d been trying for ages. While She and He were out, I brought it into the house!

T: I helped!

M: You did not. I let you play with it, but what I wanted you to do was take it into Her bedroom and leave a mess of fur everywhere. I had to do that myself. Honestly!

T: Well, there was a huge, glorious mess, anyway. And it isn’t my fault that She came and found us when YOU had the mouse in your mouth and ran under the bed, is it?

M: sniggers She didn’t like that at all, heehee! That’s why I gave you the mouse, so she’d see you with it and think…

T: What, think I’d caught it? Is that why She chased me down the hall? But I hid in our tunnel and growled at Her when She tried to take it off me!

M: Um…well…yes, I thought of letting you take the blame. I never thought you would allow Her to take the mouse off you that easily!

T: She shouted at me!

M: You’re a wimp. A big wuss!

T: Am not. Anyway, it was all a lot of fun, wasn’t it?!

M: It was! My first mouse and the first real telling off we received. I think we can say we’ve grown up today.

T: I think so too. High paw! Hey, you don’t think we annoyed her so much that she won’t give us any supper?

Dogs Can Fly!

~ Mr. Breeze ~ 2 Comments

Did you know that rescue dogs in the UK were trained to fly a real airplane?

In 2016 Sky 1 aired a TV series called Dogs Might Fly. Twelve dogs underwent acting challenges, made music videos, and even acted in a live play.

Three of the dogs made it to flight school. With special equipment and training, the dogs learned to steer the plane, keep it level, and follow simple flying instructions. Two dogs were able to fly a Cessna 172 in a figure 8.

Good dogs!

The dogs didn’t handle takeoff or landing, but they did control the plane in the air. I think they earned their wings!

TJ and Bart Music column

~ TJ and Bart ~ 2 Comments

Hello, Anipal Times! We are TJ and Bart, ready for our second column.

Dis is Bart!

Dis is TJ! Let’s do Dis!

Bart: Today, we are going to talk about music. Our daddy is a DJ and likes to play music on da social media.

TJ: Well, he likes to play da old music. SOOOOOOOOO old.

Bart: It is embarrassing. Daddy only likes to play songs dat are fifty years old.

TJ: I mean, Daddy is playing people like Elton John, a group called America, play Dat Funky Music White Boy, what is dis, Daddy?

Bart: Dis music is stwange. Some of da songs are about people dying in the middle of the songs. Why are people singing about dis?

TJ: And why is Daddy playing dis music? Dat’s what we’re concerned with. Dey were wearing dese ugly bell-bottom pants in da 70s. Why do you want to remember dis?

Bart: Dey even have a song called da Berta Butt Boogie. Ise serious, TJ!

TJ: Humans are weird. I think we need to take a nap to think about dis, Bart.

Bart: Good idea, TJ! See you next time, Anipal Times readers~

Introduction to TJ and Bart!

~ TJ and Bart ~ Leave a comment

Bart: Hello! We had to introduce ourselves to Anipal Times readers! My name is Bart!

TJ: And my name is TJ! Hewwo!

Bart: A wittle about ourselves. First, me. Because I am more important.

TJ: What?????

Bart: Never mind! I came to Daddy’s home thwee years ago. It was a vewwy happy day!

TJ: Bart likes to eat more than any doggo I know! He even tries to eat my food!

Bart: You snooze, you whoose, TJ!

TJ: I’m the one who does the work here. I have been here eleven yeaws! I bwavely guard the house all of the time!

Bart: TJ is scared of the dark and thunder.

TJ: Hush! At least I’m not smaller than the fwogs around the house like you are, Bart!

Bart: Whatever! We just got together to share our thoughts on serious issues for doggos.

TJ: We will tackle the controversial issues like, um, tail sniffing and stuff like dat!

Bart: What does controversial mean?

TJ: As you can tell, I am the smart one.

Bart: Whatever! Well, dat’s who we are, Anipal Times readers! Good to meet you!

TJ: Dat wight! Now it’s time for doggo naps! See you soon!

Quote: Bob Mortimer on Cats

~ Mr. Breeze ~ 2 Comments

I can’t remember ever cooking food to impress a woman. The idea’s quite cheesy and sort of makes my skin crawl. But I sometimes make a special effort to impress my cats, with chicken liver or something. It’s tricky to know if a cat’s impressed. They might give me a little look, a glimpse at least. That’s cat ownership for you.
— Bob Mortimer

The Jersey Devil

~ Mr. Breeze ~ 2 Comments
The Jersey Devil
Mrs. Leeds’ 13th Child

Imagine if you will…

You are camping with your friends in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey. It’s an early fall evening. There’s a chill in the air and the moon is full.

As you sit around the campfire telling ghost stories, there is a sudden thrashing in the blueberry bushes. Something moves quickly toward your campsite. Wait, were those antlers? Is it a deer this late at night?

No, it is not a deer. It is South Jersey’s oldest cryptid, the Jersey Devil himself!

In 1735, decades before the Revolutionary War, Mrs. Leeds had her 13th child. As the boy was born, Mrs. Leeds cursed him. For a time, he seemed like a normal baby. Then one evening Mrs. Leeds entered the nursery to find her baby had grown hooves, wings, and vicious fangs. With a blood-curdling shriek he flew up the chimney and disappeared into the night!

The Jersey Devil has been sighted many times over the centuries, and he is responsible for many strange goings-on. Campers see glowing eyes in the brush. Children go missing, livestock is killed, and banshee-like wails are heard through the pines. He has even been seen on Long Beach Island cavorting with mermaids.

Today there is a little tavern on Leeds Point. The lights of Atlantic City are visible across the bay. And on stormy nights you may hear the Jersey Devil clip-clopping across the tavern roof.