Nipclub, December 11, 2025 Sekurity Update

Nipclub Ugly Sweater Night

(By Slinky @slinky_the_cat, Sekurity Agent, Late Nite Shift)

I arrived on time. Ragamuffin Raspberry Tart (@sisfurcats) had nothing significant to report. She has the Sekurity Shift right before mine.

I saw Susan and Puddin (@georgiarealist), and Moo @(moothemousecat) had a martini waiting for me when I arrived. TJS (@TJS12145) and Dora K @ (dora_nlk) also were there. Gator (@RealFakeGator) said there were not a lot of security issues so far this evening.

After the last few weeks of craziness, this was most welcome!

I said hello to Louis and Heath (@psiangelic); I mentioned tequila fountains and martini Jacuzzis! Wouldn’t that be fun? We used to make a lot of tequila fountains!

I caught two interlopers out by the delivery entrance. I zip-tied them and locked them up. Easy peasy!

Gator was showing off his ugly sweater; it’s a sweater so heinous that it’s difficult to describe. A fire-breathing kitten setting a Christmas tree on fire, plus skulls wearing Santa hats. Truly a Design by Gator original!

Mizz Bassie (@MizzBassie) was here, and everyone was eating crispy onion rings and talking about the weather, snow, etc. Mizz and I have nice weather; she’s in Florida, and I’m in Jakku. We love nice weather in the winter!

Even Harvey Button (@HarveyButtonNZ) showed up! He doesn’t come into the bar often during the late hours, so it was a treat.

Pearl’s here now, after arriving a bit late because she had no electricity. She served up sweater-shaped cookies and cranberry meowmosas.

I took the golf cart out on the grounds to look for more sekurity risks, but it was quiet. Maybe too quiet. It was a slow night, which was fine by the Sekurity team. More time to party with the pals.

There was a delicious bacon lattice-topped apple pie. The stuff of dreams! That pie recipe should win a prize, like the noble feast prize, according to Sir Pickle (@SirLongpaw)!

I didn’t see Raven (@IndulgedFurries), so Pearl melted some butter, but then Raven showed up! She was having Twitter issues and wasn’t seeing notifications. We were rating butter, bacon, and chocolate in order of awesomeness. Together, they are purvana, declared Sir Pickle!

We talked about cat toys, toy dangers such as rubber bands, hair ties, etc. Then Vampy (@adorabully) showed up late to say hello. It’s nice to see everyone at Nipclub. I caught two interlopers, so it was not bad for an Ugly Sweater night!

Until next week

Kissy Noses and Deeper Thoughts

Do you ever notice that your peeps do not know the names of the other peeps at the dog park and just call them Sparky’s dad and Ike’s mom?

Do you ever wonder why the eggs come in a carton with twelve in them, but the peeps act like a hero when giving you one whole, big-deal egg? #danerve #moreplease

Do you ever wonder what peeps dream about when they go sleepies? Is it rabbits, squirrels, and running through lakes, like us?

Do you ever wonder why your closet is a millionth the size of your peeps’? #dogmariekondoit

Do you ever wonder why we must get a bath when we roll in fun, delightfully free items at the park?

Do you ever wonder why dogs must fly in a tiny cage on the airplane when the humans are the ones ready to rumble, misbehaving, and tossing drinks at each other?

Do you ever wonder why your peeps close the restroom door when the two of woo are home alone, but when you are on your walkies, they constantly stare right at you, steal your droppings, and give you no privacy at all?

Do you ever wonder why your peeps place a container full of tasty delights they call leftovers in the middle of the room where you eat and then yell at you when you jump up and eat it?

Do you ever wonder what those water drops are coming out of Momma’s eyes and how easily a hug from me just makes it stop? #Sassysuperpower

Do you ever wonder why your peeps cut down a gigantic tree, place it in a bowl and put attractive, shiny balls, strings of popcorn and cranberries on it but yell at you when you pounce it to the ground and eat the tree?

Do you ever wonder why it is more fun to play with the box your toy comes in instead of the actual toy?

Do you ever notice that we can smell someone opening a packet of chips a mile out and can be there in under a second to ask for one?

Do you ever wonder why the human takes all the gorgeous snow and grumbles and groans while making a space for peeps to walk in, rather than pounce through it with his tongue hanging out, like you do?

Do you ever wonder why the peeps squeeze you into a tiny sweater to go out in the snow, when you have two pounds of fur on already?

Do you ever wonder what is in that big, humming box and why you don’t have one? You live here, too.

To Bathe or Not To Bathe, That is The Question

Firstly, hello and welcome along to the wonderful Anipal Times. My name is Bob, and I’m your Agony Uncle.

My first email raises the very impawtant question – “To Bath or Not To Bath”. Recently, someone bathed Fred, whose name was changed to protect privacy, even though he fought heroically after he refused a bath.

Dear Bob

Let me set the scene, Fred says. He was walking along with his hooman whilst out walking in the lovely countryside where he lives and came upon the most gorgeous, premium, irresistible scent in the air that he knew he had to investigate and discover – if only to enter it into his Catalogue of Smells!

Well, when he looked back to see his hooman talking to anofur hooman, he thought he would check it out himself … so he did. When he got there, he realised it was indeed the most exquisite smell efur a dog could come across and knew instantly that he needed to have it upon himself. He rolled and rolled in it to ensure he covered every inch of himself in this luxurious smell! Proudly, he couldn’t wait to get back to his hooman to let them smell for themselves this wondrous smell! A true delicate bouquet for the nostrils!

Anyway, upon his return to his hooman, who incidentally was still talking to the other hooman, he went and sat right next to them and looked up at them, smiling. Then, a complete fluff explosion occurred. His hooman shrieked and shouted, “You smelly ****” (this word cannot be repeated ), then took away Fred’s freedom and liberties by grabbing his harness and taking him home. On reaching home, the hooman took Fred, who put up the most heroic fight for at least 30 mins, before being tricked with a treat, to the bathroom. They indeed trapped him in there and bathed him without a please or thank you.

Poor Fred lost his exquisite smell, and someone bathed him without his consent. Yes, consider this: Someone bathed Fred without his consent.

Dear Fred,

I think I’m not the only one who thinks they mistreated you when they gave you a bath without your consent. In fact, I believe your hooman needs a serious talking to about this unacceptable behaviour. I, for one, will come along to your home and back you up in this serious talking-to. They took your choice and liberties without consent, and you need to make them aware of this.

I would like you, the readers, to let me and Fred know your opinion on this matter. Do you think, like me, that their hooman needs a proper talk with? What would you do?

Please let us know in the comments.

Thank you.

Animal Holidays and Observations December 7 – 13

December

The only December Animal Monthly Observation is:

National Cat Lovers Month

Daily holidays during the second week include:

• December 9: International Day of Veterinary Medicine
• December 9: National Llama Day
• December 10: Festival for the Souls of Dead Whales
• December 10: International Animal Rights Day
• December 10: National Day of Animal Rights
• December 11: Holiday Food Drive for Needy Animals Day
• December 13: National Day of the Horse

Behind the Scenes! with Sir Pickle Longpaw

Midge The Mutt

🐾Cartooning with Sunny and Midge the Mutt🐾

sir pickle
sir pickle

Animal Holidays and Observations December 1 – 6

December

When December arrives, we think about major winter holidays like Christmas and Hanukkah.
We also think about Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day, the winter solstice, Yule, Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve,
taking stock of everything from the year, and setting New Year’s Resolutions.

December doesn’t have as many animal holidays and observations as other months, but there are still some important ones!

The only December Animal Monthly Observation is:

National Cat Lovers Month

Daily holidays during the first week include:

December 1 – 24: Operation Santa Paws
• December 1: Cyber Monday (Monday after Thanksgiving)
• December 1: National Twin With Your Dog Day
• December 2: National Mutt Day (also July 31)
• December 4: International Cheetah Day
• December 4: Wildlife Conservation Day
• December 4: Celebrate Shelter Pets Day (First Thursday after Thanksgiving)