Nipclub March 19, 2026: Sekurity Update

Nipclub Mar 19 2026

Nipclub March 19, 2026, Sekurity Update by Slinky, @Slinky_the_Cat, Sekurity Agent, Late Nite shift

Pie Day, Nipclub, March 19th. What fun! When I arrived, Breezyboi (Kitteh Boi) and Pearl were talking about March Madness, basketball, and knitting scarves. I arrived just barely on time and had to change into my avatar after I got there, because I was wearing the wrong sekurity uniform!

Angus was lurking about, as was Raven, and I heard there might be lots of pie tonight!

Pearl has Oreo cookie pie, egg and bacon breakfast pie, buttery and savory salmon pie, and more! P and Jeego and Harvey Button were also there, and everyone was chatting and eating pie.  

Pearl was talking about her humans going rock and mineral hunting with a local club. It sounded really interesting, collecting agates in the wild.

While everyone is talking about wind-powered lapidary saws, I go check the Sekurity video and FLIR cameras for activity. Nothing yet. It’s suspiciously quiet. Maybe everyone is still recovering from St. Patrick’s Day?

Raven had arrived but was already sleepy, so Pearl gave her some catpurrcchino. Didn’t help her much though, so she took the rest of the beverage to go and left early.

TJS (@TJS12145) popped in to say hello as usual.

Pearl baked blackberry mini pies with Hello Kitty images on top! They were so cute and delicious! 

Louis and Angus are talking about playing music again, going through the record collection. They found some splendid music: horror film soundtrack music from the early 1980s! Zombie slasher film soundtrack songs and all the band members had mullets and big, rockstar hair.

Angus continued the zombie music while I reviewed the sekurity video footage again.

Louis showed how he used Grok to create images of himself in a cartoon world surrounded by rainbows and magical mushrooms. He showed some results. Cool stuff.  

During LATE NITE, Pearl shared some photos of herself as a young, polydactyl girl-cat. Her human found the photos recently, so they were new to us! They were great photos. Pearl couldn’t stay too late as she was too tired, and I filled in at the bar until I closed. I served up cheesesteak pasties and colorful cocktails while eyeing the sekurity cameras. No activity tonight, not even with zombie- slasher music!

Someone I haven’t seen for ages, PazzNiko_cat, showed up for LATE NITE and hung out with us, enjoying the different pie and cocktails.

It started getting very late, and the crowd dwindled down to a few anipals, so I served a last call nightcap. I set out some to-go boxes, put away the pie, and locked up the bar. It was so nice to see a new face and listen to different music.

Until next week!

Slinky the Cat

Nipclub March 12, 2026: Sekurity Update

Nipclub Mar 12 2026

Nipclub Thursday, March 12, 2026, Sekurity Update by Slinky, @Slinky_the_Cat, Sekurity Agent, Late Nite shift

Saint Patrick’s Day Nipclub, March 12. The Sekurity team outfitted themselves in lucky green velour tracksuits, and we had drones at the ready to zap some leprechauns!

When I arrived for my shift, Gator was filling in for Moo at the bar and was serving the coolest bar snack: pot-o-gold Jell-O shots complete with tiny candy rainbows!

Extraordinary!

Suddenly, everyone showed up at the same time: P and Jeego, Raven, Mizz Bassie, Pearl, and TJS. After exchanging greetings, I went outside and launched a drone with night vision to scout out the area. I programmed it to go all over the property and report back in real time. I saw a few slow-moving green dots on the camera, then they gathered behind some trees.

Pearl was at the bar, cooking salmon with bright green catnip pesto sauce, and I put my plate aside so I could quickly go out on the golf cart, taser at the ready. I saw TJS and asked if he wanted to help nab some leprechauns.

I slowly drove up to the thick bushes where I saw the activity and got off the cart, taser aimed on stun. I saw movement: four individuals and zapped three of them! I zip-tied the three stunned leprechauns, and the fourth ran off. I knew I would find him later! I put the three in the back of the golf cart and transported them to Nipclub jail.

Score!

I went back to the bar to chill for a bit and had a drink before time to go out to look for the fourth leprechaun.

Louis (@Psiangelic) the panfur showed up for LATE NITE! With a new handle name, I didn’t recognize Louis right away, but “Louisiana the cat” is Louis, whose full name is Louisiana Cajun Black.

Exceptional name!

Pearl serves us gorgeous green cocktails, creamy potato leek soup, and lasagna.

Angus showed up, slipped into the DJ booth, and played some fun Irish music! LATE NITE fun!

Moo showed up late and asked what we were doing. We explained we were listening to bawdy Irish music and eating cheesecake! What else would we be doing?

It’s getting late. Pearl and Moo, the barktenders, had to leave.

I stayed longer, served a nightcap, and locked up the bar. I served the iconic Irish coffee, à la the Buena Vista in San Francisco, and a lovely charcuterie plate with Irish cheeses, crackers, cured meats, and olives to close out the night. I furnished doggie bags for everyone who wanted one and then called it a night.

I never went back out to look for the fourth leprechaun. Oh well.

Until next week!

Slinky the Cat

Nipclub March 5, 2026: Sekurity Update

Nipclub Mar 5, 2026

Nipclub, March 5, 2026, Sekurity Update by Slinky, @Slinky_the_Cat, Sekurity Agent, Late Nite shift

Thursday, 3-5-26. @NipClub on X.

Tonight, we’re holding a Maple Syrup Festival to continue with our winter theme!

When I arrived for my Sekurity shift at the #Nipclub Pawty Bar, Louis and Harvey Button were already there, as was Jeego and Seattle P. Harvey’s human was editing photos and Harvey had complained about how windy it’s been at his house. Moo served us some maple old-fashioned cocktails and some delicious pasta with sausage, and of course, maple!

Pearl arrived, also complaining about the wind at her human’s house as well. The coming spring seems to bring wind as the seasons change.  

After checking all the cameras in the Nipclub Sekurity room, I went back to the bar. I have the feed on my phone, so I’ll monitor while enjoying some pasta before I go outside to check the perimeter. 

The cats were dancing, even though I’m not sure who’s in the DJ booth right now! It doesn’t matter; everyone was having fun!

Angel Dominique, aka DCKitty, showed up, which was a nice surprise! Jeego and P. suggested we have serious drinks. How about some niptinis? DC was chatting with everyone and mentioned Eminique, her lovely 13-year-old sisfur cat. She even showed a photograph.

Moo had to step out for a bit, so that was my cue to go outside and check the grounds. 

Someone asked about drones and robot dogs. We have the drones, but robot dogs are an excellent idea! Pearl suggested robot cats, and I added robotic badgers to the list. TJS (@TJS12145) showed up on cue and chatted a bit with everyone.

More friends arrived, which caused us to trend on the X timelines of most of our pals!

Pearl mentioned some kind of cat food with gravy and peas, and I thought I was going to gag. Apparently, her human’s cats love it, and they even eat the peas. Gross meowt!

Louis and I realized that it was way too quiet in the bar, so I volunteered to play a couple of tunes because we didn’t have a DJ. I played two metal tunes: White Zombie and Korn, Freak on a Leash. It seemed appropriate for a maple festival!

Louis decided to play some tunes, too, because music makes the party!

Louis loves metal, so the musical theme continued. He played Metallica Master of Puppets and he asked for requests, so I suggested playing some “proto-metal” such as Slade or Alice Cooper. School’s Out is so much fun to dance to! Then he played Ace of Spades by Motörhead, and an Ozzy tune.

More sweet treats from Pearl: maple ice cream with candied bacon and pretty maple pear cocktails.

After a great set from Louis (and some encouragement to try out for late-night DJ!) we closed out the night with fun times and rousing metal music!

Until next week!

Slinky the Cat

Nipclub February 26, 2026: Sekurity Update

nipclub feb 26 2026

Nipclub February 26, 2026, Sekurity Update by Slinky, @Slinky_the_Cat, Sekurity Agent, Late Nite shift

Winter Festival is this week’s theme! Let’s party until the snow melts! Bring your skis, sleds, skates, hockey sticks, inner tubes, and let’s have fun in the snow! P and Jeego are already playing hockey with Gator, who is the goalie. Moo the barktender made a warm skillet brownie with vanilla ice cream on top…. wow! Delightfully decadent, especially if eaten by a roaring bonfire outside! TJS was there too, greeting everyone by name as usual. Moo is serving warm shrimp empanadas with hot drinks now so we can warm up again after our snowy escapades. After the snack, I was monitoring the motion sensors and video cameras outside, especially the ones out on the tennis courts.

More pals arrived for LATE NITE and we were just chatting about life. P and Jeego have an ant invasion, and Pearl has crickets everywhere. Strange to have bugs in your house in the winter! K-Boi showed up and I gave him a big hug as I hadn’t seen him in ages. Mizz Bassie is here as well. Pearl (late-nite barktender) is serving mac and cheese with crispy onions on top, and Mizz asked K-Boi about his new kitty, Voldemort, a.k.a., he who shall not be named. The new cat was unknown to me, sparking eagerness for details. 

A trigger from the motion sensor, combined with a visual anomaly on a camera, prompted my entry into the Sekurity monitoring room. Upon reviewing the footage, I witnessed an orb suspended just over the trail leading to the casita. Very interesting! I intend to go snow tubing again and look into that orb, though it vanished prior my departure outdoors.

Pearl shared a YouTube video (Motorpurrr is her account) of Astro the cat and Buddy the dog chasing and playing in the yard. Awesomeness! Raven appeared and said goodnight, and Pearl and I wondered how we had missed her arrival. Algorithm? We’re enjoying the pizza and magical rosehip-hibiscus cocktails that Pearl is serving up towards the end of the party and talking about the weather again. Louis said he wants to move to Alaska! He is definitely crazy. Let’s grab some pizza for later and depart! 

Until next week!

Nipclub February 12, 2026: Sekurity Update

nipclub feb 12 2026

Gator made us “Wanted: Cupid” Sekurity avatars for tonight’s pre-Valentine’s Day party!

Gator, Angus, Louis, P and Jeego were all there when I arrived. Angus stayed here long enough to feel tipsy from many martinis.

I brought a giant bouquet of orange roses to share with all the fine ladies and gents at Nipclub and left the bouquet on the bar. Moo is serving fresh scallops with pink peppercorns and a special wine.

I gave Moo a gorgeous bouquet of deep pink and orange roses with green hydrangeas and pincushion proteas, and tulips. I picked the colors to go with her Tortí fur. Moo gave me a big hug!

Angus and I consumed shots plus chocolate cupcakes, which Pearl rapidly served upon her arrival for work. Pearl mentioned her human’s cat, Astro, likes to nibble at heels. Apparently, he’s checking to see how edible the dog and humans might be. Astro is an unusual kitty!

Raven showed up right as I spotted something on one of the motion cameras, so I went outside to investigate. I saw little, but I had my taser ready, set on stun just in case. I heard some rustling, but I think it was a bird. I saw nothing, so I checked around the entire property.

It hasn’t been as busy as it used to be in the past; Nipclub Sekurity is turning into a boring job!

George the duck showed up! He’s usually a rare sight this late at night. I wondered out loud if anyone was playing music, and Angus said he’d play some tunes! With the music, we all had a true late-night fun time, with dancing!

George prepared drinks in pairs, so Pearl is making two drinks for each person, enabling our participation. Sip the left paw drink, sip the right paw drink, rinse and repeat.

This is too much fun!

Now it’s time for cheesecake, more drinks, and to talk about baseball seasons and spring training. LATE NITE tunes, drinks, fun, and we kept the party going until 11:15, Jakku time! 

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the anipals!

Until next week!

Slinky the Cat

#FBJam Saturday, February 7, 2026

On Saturday afternoon, our own Truman brought a fan favorite with the return of the #FBJam began! The theme was a celebration of the British Rock invasion!

It was an amazing afternoon of some of the best British music around! There was also British-themed food and drinks like: Toad in the Hole, fish and chips, Kedgeree, jam roly-poly, Scotch whisky, and a Pimm’s cup!

This was my first #FBJam, and I LOVED it!

It’s my honor to announce that Truman plans to bring it back now permanently, with the next one scheduled for Saturday, May 16th! They will announce the theme closer to the date!

Nipclub January 29, 2026: Sekurity Update

Nipclub Jan 29

Nipclub January 29th, 2026, Sekurity Update by Slinky, @Slinky_the_Cat, Sekurity Agent, Late Nite shift

It’s still winter in some areas of the United States, so we had a Nighttime Candlelight Winter Hike night!

I’m wearing a snowsuit to keep warm during patrols outside. There was snow everywhere and lovely lanterns on the trail to light the way. The snow sparkled in the candlelight. Delicious, comforting dishes such as chili accompanied by cornbread, plus warm beverages, were available for everyone.

Gator (@realfakegator) is stuck inside a snow globe; he thought he would just roll along the trails. I pointed out there might be rocks or even a waterfall somewhere…. Oops! He stated he would be fine, provided the falls weren’t comparable to Niagara. The glass is tempered safety glass, so he’s perfectly safe.

Our Nipclub blog charity link isn’t on the blog in its usual spot, so I asked Gator about it, and I mentioned it didn’t work last week. Technical difficulties with our charity lately! So, I’m sharing the Toronto cat rescue website; hopefully, we’ll get some donations.

I went out onto the trail to try out my new security drone! A little way down the trail, the drone caught Raven’s Molly cat tinkling outside! My demeanor suggested no major issue, though I did sternly note the existence of discreet cat facilities in the bar and casita.

Pearl (@TinyPearlCat) is here, but she has been having computer issues, but she’s still serving food and drinks.

Initially, my drone observed a shadow, but since it was an illusion, I am now employing thermal imaging.

No sekurity issues other than Molly peeing next to a tree. Just fun in the snow, great food, hot toddies, and candlelight!

Breeze (@KittehBoi) or as I affectionately call him, K-Boi (@Kittehdaboi) is playing R&B mellow soul meow music to soothe the cold away. We are having fun conversing about cats snuggling on the sofa with their humans, while Pearl serves miniature toasted marshmallow cheesecakes and hot rum toddies with lemon. Perfect desserts for a lovely winter night in the snow!

No spammers or security issues to report; just good, cold fun!

Until next week!

Slinky the Cat

Nipclub, January 22, 2026: Sekurity Update

Nipclub Jan 22

Thursday, 1-22-26. Nipclub.

Our theme was Burns Night to celebrate the Scottish poet Robert Burns. The Sekurity crew is wearing kilts for this special Nipclub party.

Burns Night is a holiday celebrated in Scotland on January 25th. Read more about it https://www.scotland.org/events/burns-night

There was haggis, of course, but few of us were very interested, and for good reason! However, there was fish and chips, plus kedgeree with wild salmon! And scotch whisky! So delicious!

Pearl (@TinyPearlCat) and P & Jeego (@SeattleP) think this is a party about burning things, so the flames are high and the flaming cat GIFs are everywhere! Pearl even made flaming shots of whisky!

Our weekly charity GoFundMe link for Toronto Cat Rescue wasn’t working, so it was difficult to perform serious sekurity checks without the charity link! Sharing the link always attracts spammers (aka sekurity risks). That is why we have security at Nipclub every week.

Even Harvey Button (@HarveyButtonNZ) noticed it wasn’t working. It might have been a broken link, but unfortunately, our blog master wasn’t around to fix it during the party.

Pearl suggested just sending their website as a link- great idea!

Harvey Botton lost a beautiful fursib, Sienna the cat, that morning. Because the event was sad, many people sent Harvey Botton condolences and soft paw hugs.

There was some talk about the upcoming Seahawks championship game on Sunday, going to sports bars to watch, and the gem show coming up in Jakku next week.

Overall, it was a fun night with lively conversation as usual!

Please join #Nipclub every Thursday night for a new, themed anipal party!

Until next week,

Slinky

TJ and Bart! More Music!

Good afternoon. We are TJ and Bart here for another column.

Dis is Bart. By the way, TJ went to the vettie this week and got told he had to lose weight. Hi TJ!

TJ: Dis is TJ. No need to tell da readers dat, Bart.

Bart: The readers should know about us, TJ!

TJ: Like how you ran away from dat little chihuahua da other day?

Bart: Let’s start dis week’s column! It is about music!

TJ: An important topic! Our daddy likes people who made music in the seventies. In other words, old.

Bart: Weally old! Now dis is stwange ‘cause they still sing songs from when dey were young!

TJ: Example: Dat guy Mick Jagger. He still sings dat song about not getting da satisfaction! If you have not got it by now, you ain’t getting it!

Bart: Or da guy Rod Stewart! He is still singing the song ‘Do You Tink I’m Sexy?’ He is in his seventies! Dat sick!

TJ: Also, some of dese people are eating too much. Dey sweating too much, not able to breathe. Maybe do a different kind of music? Like Polka?

Bart: We are not saying dey should retiwe, but dey should have some dignity!

TJ: Sing different songs! AC/DC ‘You Shook Me All Night Long.’ You are too old! How about ‘You slept all night long!’

Bart: Good example: also, how about having Metamucil sponsor your shows? Dat fits!

TJ: Or heawing aids! For da audience, too!

Bart: Also start da shows in da afternoon! Den your audience can make da early bird special later!

TJ: We have so many good ideas! How about calling one of dese shows ‘denture music?’
We are rolling now, Bart!

Bart: Well, dat is all for now! We are here to help you, older musicians!

TJ: Keep wocking, just not too woud!

See you next time!

Nipclub, December 11, 2025 Sekurity Update

Nipclub Ugly Sweater Night

(By Slinky @slinky_the_cat, Sekurity Agent, Late Nite Shift)

I arrived on time. Ragamuffin Raspberry Tart (@sisfurcats) had nothing significant to report. She has the Sekurity Shift right before mine.

I saw Susan and Puddin (@georgiarealist), and Moo @(moothemousecat) had a martini waiting for me when I arrived. TJS (@TJS12145) and Dora K @ (dora_nlk) also were there. Gator (@RealFakeGator) said there were not a lot of security issues so far this evening.

After the last few weeks of craziness, this was most welcome!

I said hello to Louis and Heath (@psiangelic); I mentioned tequila fountains and martini Jacuzzis! Wouldn’t that be fun? We used to make a lot of tequila fountains!

I caught two interlopers out by the delivery entrance. I zip-tied them and locked them up. Easy peasy!

Gator was showing off his ugly sweater; it’s a sweater so heinous that it’s difficult to describe. A fire-breathing kitten setting a Christmas tree on fire, plus skulls wearing Santa hats. Truly a Design by Gator original!

Mizz Bassie (@MizzBassie) was here, and everyone was eating crispy onion rings and talking about the weather, snow, etc. Mizz and I have nice weather; she’s in Florida, and I’m in Jakku. We love nice weather in the winter!

Even Harvey Button (@HarveyButtonNZ) showed up! He doesn’t come into the bar often during the late hours, so it was a treat.

Pearl’s here now, after arriving a bit late because she had no electricity. She served up sweater-shaped cookies and cranberry meowmosas.

I took the golf cart out on the grounds to look for more sekurity risks, but it was quiet. Maybe too quiet. It was a slow night, which was fine by the Sekurity team. More time to party with the pals.

There was a delicious bacon lattice-topped apple pie. The stuff of dreams! That pie recipe should win a prize, like the noble feast prize, according to Sir Pickle (@SirLongpaw)!

I didn’t see Raven (@IndulgedFurries), so Pearl melted some butter, but then Raven showed up! She was having Twitter issues and wasn’t seeing notifications. We were rating butter, bacon, and chocolate in order of awesomeness. Together, they are purvana, declared Sir Pickle!

We talked about cat toys, toy dangers such as rubber bands, hair ties, etc. Then Vampy (@adorabully) showed up late to say hello. It’s nice to see everyone at Nipclub. I caught two interlopers, so it was not bad for an Ugly Sweater night!

Until next week