We’re back!

Good evening y’all! It’s Bart from TJ and Bart, and we are back!

TJ: Yes, it’s good to be back. We need to snooze. So, what shall we talk about tonight, Bart?

Bart: Let’s talk about food

TJ: Dis is a good idea

Bart: One of the stwange dings about hoomans is dat dey think there are only a few times in the day that you should eat.

TJ: Dis is boring. We say, eat anytime during the day or night!

Bart: Now, also, we ask, what to eat?

TJ: Anything!

Bart: Dat makes sense!

TJ: Da hoomans want to feed us canned food called dog food. Do they call their food ‘hooman food’?

Bart: Dis is stwange. But hoomans are stwange.

TJ: Yes. Why do they always scoop up our poop?

Bart: TJ, let’s stick to one subject.

TJ: Towwy!

Bart: Dat’s okay. What do you really like to eat, TJ?

TJ: Pizza.

Bart: But our hooman doesn’t let us eat pizza.

TJ: That doesn’t mean we can’t eat it when they aren’t looking.

Bart: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, dis is twue.

TJ: And it’s also fun to eat each other’s food.

Bart: I don’t like it when you eat my food.

TJ: So?

Bart: Whatever. When is your favorite time to eat?

TJ: Anytime! When we finish writing dis, I say we eat!

Bart: What shall we eat?

TJ: Snausauges!

Bart: Dis is a good idea! Well, dat’s all, folks. We won’t wait that long before writing again.

TJ: Dat’s right! Hope you enjoyed dis! Time to chow down!

Animal Holidays and Observations, March 29 – April 4

April pet holidays

The April Monthly Observations are:

Heartworm Awareness Month
National Pet First Aid Awareness Month
Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Month
Canine Fitness Month
Prevent Lyme Disease in Dogs Month
National Adopt a Greyhound Month

The daily Holidays/Observations during the week of March 29 – April 4 are:

• April 1-7: International Pooper Scooper Week
• April 1: International Bull Terrier Day
• April 2: National Ferret Day
• April 4: World Stray Animals Day
• April 4: World Rat Day

Happy New Year!

Bart: Hello, Anipals! Dis is Bart from the team of TJ and Bart! Our first article of da new year! Happy New Year!

TJ: Dis is TJ. I feel like 2026 is going to be a wonderful year for all of us!

Bart: I agwee, TJ. You know I have heard of dis human thing called New Year’s Resolutions.

TJ: What’s dat?

Bart: Well, it’s when humans promise to be better in da new year.

TJ: Dat’s strange. Why do they wait for then?

Bart: Humans are weird, TJ.

TJ: Dat’s wight. So, should we doggies have New Year’s resolutions? Might be fun!

Bart: Let’s do it! I resolve to eat more dis year.

TJ: Bart, if you eat any more, you will be able to roll down the sidewalk instead of walking on it.

Bart: Not a funny joke, TJ.

TJ: It wasn’t a joke.

Bart: Okay, how about you?

TJ: I resolve to be more friendly to other doggos.

Bart: Good idea, TJ. You are always arguing with all the doggos around here. I need some peace.

TJ: I am protecting da house, Bart.

Bart: From whom?

TJ: You can never be too safe, Bart. But I promise to be a little more trusting. Maybe I will sniff dem instead of barking at them.

Bart: Good idea. I also resolve to sleep more.

TJ: Is dat possible?

Bart: I will find out.

TJ: Okay, one more from me. I resolve not to be scared of thunder.

Bart: I don’t know if you can do dat one, TJ.

TJ: Yes, I can! I am going to be more like dat hero dog Rex in Hudson and Rex, Dat TV show.

Bart: You got a long way to go for dat, TJ. But okay.

TJ: Okay, Anipals. Let us know some of your resolutions!

Bart: ‘Dat’s wight! We will see you soon. Meanwhile, time to start sleeping more!

My Mom’s Christmas Puppy

As Christmas is a time that spreads so much joy, I’d like to tell you a heartwarming story about my mom and her Christmas dog, Tilly.

Tilly’s story, set in 2006, is nearly twenty years old. 

So, in came Tilly! A half-dachshund, half-Bichon Frisé, with an adorable scruffy appearance that was the color of wheat, nibbled on my coat buttons throughout the entire car ride home on the night my dad and I welcomed her into the family. 

We planned to keep her presence a secret for a couple of weeks until Christmas, as it was already December 13th, so we sneaked her in.

My mother’s access to my room or office by stairs became impossible because of a car wreck. The plan, thus, was to keep Tilly upstairs: fed, cuddled, entertained, plus, above all, quiet. 

We were unaware, but Tilly had other ideas. 

A very large and tall J.C. Penney box, open at the top with the top flaps cut off, and with a blanket and toys inside, served as a puppy playpen. The second her paws touched the blanket at the bottom, she started whining. I tried to hush her gently, and she answered with louder protests. Of course, I had her wandering around upstairs initially, but when she tried to befriend my rabbit, he ended up stomping his back feet at her, which made her run and yelp with fright out of my office, around the corner, and into my room.

Because I thought she might be lonely, I took the “playpen” with me wherever I went. Nothing doing. 

To reassure her she wasn’t alone, I tried cuddling her for a long time. 

While she was in the “playpen”, I tried giving her treats and playing with her. 

I turned on the radio for her. 

Even with the “playpen” beside my bed while I tried to sleep, she kept whining all night. 

I’d reach over and pet her, and she’d stop when I did. Then I’d roll over, and she’d start up again. 

I couldn’t let her onto the bed with me. She was such a tiny bean; I was afraid I’d roll over and squish her. So, instead, I spent the night alternating between petting and comforting her and her serenading me with her cries. 

In the morning, I went downstairs, knowing my mom had heard Tilly and that she had ruined the surprise. 

My mom couldn’t figure out why I looked so terrible. 

I couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t asking me about the whining echoing down the stairwell. 

Still, she hadn’t heard! She didn’t know! 

There was no way I could keep Tilly a secret for another twelve days, so I brought her downstairs to my mom, saying, “Merry Christmas!” 

My mom lit up like a little kid at Christmas. She was so excited, and Tilly was so excited, and I was excited but also exhausted. 

My mom said she couldn’t believe we’d snuck Tilly in and kept her quiet all night! I answered that we hadn’t and told her about my sleepless night. 

She was even more surprised. 

My mom lowered Tilly into her playpen to go to the kitchen. 

And this time Tilly didn’t whine. Instead, she Tigger-bounced off her back legs, grabbed hold of the handle that was cut into the side of the box with her front paws, lifted herself up like she was about to do a pull-up, and squeezed herself out of the handle, plopping onto the floor with a tiny thump. 

She rose to her feet and wandered over to my mom, head held high. 

Turns out, this was a preview of the next ten years: Tilly doing high-dives off the back of the couch, leaping over baby gates and furniture, running up vet bills and giving us minor cardiac arrest regularly, no matter the measures taken to stop the furry little Evel Knievel. 

But through it all, we loved her, and she loved us. She was my mom’s very own special Christmas puppy.

TJ and Bart: Tail Sniffing

Bart: Hewwo, Anipal Times Readers! This is Bart, and we, TJ and Bart, are ready to write another column.

TJ: Dis is TJ, and dis is an important column. Doggos have asked us dis question: Why do our humans become upset when we sniff each other’s tails?

Bart: It is stwange, TJ. What is da problem with them?

TJ: They do not know dat is how we greet each other! We check each other out when we do dat! But humans just get all weird about it.

Bart: Hoomans, y’all do weird things too, like when we poop outside, y’all gather it in paper bags. Why do you want to save our poop?

TJ: I never figured dat one out, Bart.

Bart: Hoomans are strange. Anyway, for you hoomans, when we sniff each other’s tails, it’s our way of saying hello.

TJ: You can tell a lot about a doggo by sniffing its tail.

Bart: Exactly. You know den if you can twust da other dog. If you smell da wong thing, it’s no good

TJ: Dis is how we bweak da ice at da dog parks. Other doggos can be nervous, but when we sniff their tails, it rewaxes dem.

Bart: Dat’s wight. So, for you doggos, be patient with your humans. Dey are stwange.

TJ: And for humans, try to be more understanding. We will twy to be understanding with you.

Until next time. Woof woof!