“Deer Bob
I iz hopin yoo can giff me sum adfise? I iz a innosent lil furr hoo keeps gettin da blame for stuff. Der iz a big cat dat wait for me too be sumwer n do stuff like hide boomstix or blow Sumfin up or set fire too sumfin or reek havuk n me get da blaem. It juss da coinsidense dat me der. But her sneekie n noe furr see himz. How Duz me get owt ob deez sichuashuns coz noe furr beeleef me? I aff chanjed mine name to stae anonymonous.
Fangks
Anonomous”
Ooh my dog — what a pickle you be in. Being an innocent little fur repeatedly framed for boomstix, fires, and general havoc is enough to make anyone’s tail droop and floof stand on end.
First things first: If trouble keeps happening wherever you are, others may mistake coincidence for cause. While you know you’re not lighting the boomstix or lighting fires, to others, it looks like you arrive and—boom—havoc follows.
Here’s what you can do:
Distance yourself from things for a while, avoid danger locations: fireworks sheds, boomstix cupboards, and anywhere marked “Danger.” If nothing booms when you’re not around, that speaks louder than words.
Gather proof. Loudly insisting, “It wasn’t me!” rarely convinces anyone. Instead, try to document events. If you suspect the big cat is lurking, set up witnesses, mirrors, footprints, or even a simple “trap” that reveals who really set the boomstix, like a hidden camera.
Be visibly helpful, fix things, save others before things go wrong. Nothing confuses an accusation like being a hero.
Stop playing alone. The cat succeeds because you’re alone. Stick close to others, especially authority figures. It’s much harder to frame a fur who’s never by themselves.
Finally, remember this: being blamed doesn’t mean being guilty. You are innocent.With patience, evidence, and a little strategic thinking, the truth has a way of coming out.
Stay safe, stay smart, and keep yourself out of the boomstix radius.
Bob’s Your Uncle
The Anipal Times 