New Year’s Resolutions – The Anipal Times

Bart: Hello, Anipals! Dis is Bart from the team of TJ and Bart! Our first article of da new year! Happy New Year!

TJ: Dis is TJ. I feel like 2026 is going to be a wonderful year for all of us!

Bart: I agwee, TJ. You know I have heard of dis human thing called New Year’s Resolutions.

TJ: What’s dat?

Bart: Well, it’s when humans promise to be better in da new year.

TJ: Dat’s strange. Why do they wait for then?

Bart: Humans are weird, TJ.

TJ: Dat’s wight. So, should we doggies have New Year’s resolutions? Might be fun!

Bart: Let’s do it! I resolve to eat more dis year.

TJ: Bart, if you eat any more, you will be able to roll down the sidewalk instead of walking on it.

Bart: Not a funny joke, TJ.

TJ: It wasn’t a joke.

Bart: Okay, how about you?

TJ: I resolve to be more friendly to other doggos.

Bart: Good idea, TJ. You are always arguing with all the doggos around here. I need some peace.

TJ: I am protecting da house, Bart.

Bart: From whom?

TJ: You can never be too safe, Bart. But I promise to be a little more trusting. Maybe I will sniff dem instead of barking at them.

Bart: Good idea. I also resolve to sleep more.

TJ: Is dat possible?

Bart: I will find out.

TJ: Okay, one more from me. I resolve not to be scared of thunder.

Bart: I don’t know if you can do dat one, TJ.

TJ: Yes, I can! I am going to be more like dat hero dog Rex in Hudson and Rex, Dat TV show.

Bart: You got a long way to go for dat, TJ. But okay.

TJ: Okay, Anipals. Let us know some of your resolutions!

Bart: ‘Dat’s wight! We will see you soon. Meanwhile, time to start sleeping more!

Welcome, readers! It’s Midge again. It’s a New Year, and—for you humans at least—that means resolutions.

A new you!

Dogs like me don’t understand this concept since the only self-improvement we dogs engage in is whatever guarantees we won’t get in trouble—or won’t get caught, which is easier and better, in my opinion.

So, what did you choose this year?

Losing weight?
Spending less time on your phone?
Cutting out caffeine?

Maybe you haven’t picked one yet because you’re flawless like me.

Or maybe because you’re a mess and you don’t know where to begin.

Hence, I propose some fresh ideas originating from a canine viewpoint.

We watch you pretty closely; you know. Especially while you’re eating…

1. Take your dog for more walks. (Trust me, we appreciate this.)
2. Give your dogs more treats. (We REALLY appreciate this.)
3. Prioritize playing with us over your phone. (It’s good for you too!)
4. Be nicer to yourself (look, it bugs us when you’re down on yourself). Dog language is almost 100% body language and energy, so we sense when you feel bad, and it affects us, too.
.5. Don’t push too hard. The dishes can wait if you’re tired. Cuddle with a doggo instead!

If you don’t take time to rest and relax, how will you have the energy to take care of us?!

This is all just off the top of my fuzzy head.

Dogs know what’s important. And the most important thing to take away from my suggestions is that you’re important—to us, to your friends, family, to that houseplant you probably forgot to water.

Hey! There’s another resolution for you!

So, as we enter the New Year, remember that the person behind the resolutions is more important than the resolutions themselves.

So, don’t go so crazy trying to be the new you that you exhaust and frustrate the current you.

Okay?

Now, I better scram because I hear Melissa in the kitchen and I have to go make sure she doesn’t find what I did in there…

Happy New Year!