Hello! Dis is Bart! We are TJ and Bart, and we are ready with a new article for the Anipal Times!
Dis is TJ! We take our duties as writers seriously. And we have a vewy important topic today. Walking in da cold.
Bart: Dat’s wight, TJ. Now we live in Florida, so it does not get too cold here too often. But sometimes it does.
TJ: Dis also for our pals who really have to go through da cold so much during the winter. Dey have real winters. Dis is an important topic!
Bart: Dis is also weally for our humans. Because dey walk us, after all.
TJ: And they don’t walk us any differently than! Man, it is cold outside! Why do they go so slowly?
Bart: Dis is so twue! You know we are low to the gwound! Our pwivate parts are touching the gwass!
TJ: Sowwy if that is too stwong for da readers out there, but dis is an important issue for us doggos! Humans, get da lead out!
Bart: You don’t want to be out dere, wight? Well, we don’t want to be out dere either!
TJ: And yoooose humans are supposed to be da smart ones. If we go inside, then we will all get warm! What is so hard about dat?
Bart: But we also have to have patience with our humans.
TJ: It’s difficult sometimes, though, Bart. Cats have it so good! They can go in da stinky box inside!
Bart: And then da humans clean it. Cats are lucky!
TJ: In da meantime, humans, understand! Faster walks, and less time outside when it is cold!
Bart: Dat’s wight!
TJ: Dis concludes our article. We hope dis helps!
Category: TJ and Bart Bark About Rock
ApplePasta
Happy New Year!
Bart: Hello, Anipals! Dis is Bart from the team of TJ and Bart! Our first article of da new year! Happy New Year!
TJ: Dis is TJ. I feel like 2026 is going to be a wonderful year for all of us!
Bart: I agwee, TJ. You know I have heard of dis human thing called New Year’s Resolutions.
TJ: What’s dat?
Bart: Well, it’s when humans promise to be better in da new year.
TJ: Dat’s strange. Why do they wait for then?
Bart: Humans are weird, TJ.
TJ: Dat’s wight. So, should we doggies have New Year’s resolutions? Might be fun!
Bart: Let’s do it! I resolve to eat more dis year.
TJ: Bart, if you eat any more, you will be able to roll down the sidewalk instead of walking on it.
Bart: Not a funny joke, TJ.
TJ: It wasn’t a joke.
Bart: Okay, how about you?
TJ: I resolve to be more friendly to other doggos.
Bart: Good idea, TJ. You are always arguing with all the doggos around here. I need some peace.
TJ: I am protecting da house, Bart.
Bart: From whom?
TJ: You can never be too safe, Bart. But I promise to be a little more trusting. Maybe I will sniff dem instead of barking at them.
Bart: Good idea. I also resolve to sleep more.
TJ: Is dat possible?
Bart: I will find out.
TJ: Okay, one more from me. I resolve not to be scared of thunder.
Bart: I don’t know if you can do dat one, TJ.
TJ: Yes, I can! I am going to be more like dat hero dog Rex in Hudson and Rex, Dat TV show.
Bart: You got a long way to go for dat, TJ. But okay.
TJ: Okay, Anipals. Let us know some of your resolutions!
Bart: ‘Dat’s wight! We will see you soon. Meanwhile, time to start sleeping more!
TJ and Bart: Christmas Tree!
Bart: Good evening, Anipal Times readers! Here we are, TJ and Bart!
I’m Bart. Why is your name always first, TJ?
TJ: Dis is TJ. Bart, what difference does dat make? I think it’s because I’se a better-looking doggo.
Bart: WHAT????
TJ: Never mind, Bart. Let’s get to our subject tonight. Christmas trees.
Bart: Dis is a very important subject. Chwistmas Twees are stwange to us doggos
TJ: Yes, stwange. I mean, when we go outside to be walked, our hoomans know what we do with twees.
Bart: And our hoomans like it when we do dis. But not with dese Chwistmas trees.
TJ: Dat is stwange. And why are dese twees brought inside da house?
Bart: And da humans put all this stuff on it. Dey put decowations and lights on da twee, which is stwange. They never put dis stuff on twees outside.
TJ: And they put this…little barn with these plastic figures on it. Dey say dis is da baby Jesus.
Bart: It’s da weason for da season. Twees look nice. But when we go around dese Chwistmas twees, hooomans get nervous. Why?
TJ: Don’t dey know that we going dere to make a wish to Santa? For us to get more tweats for Chwistmas?
Bart: I mean, we had ‘accidents’ dere once or twice, but no one is perfect!
TJ: Dat wight! Okay, let’s close.
Doggos, just be careful when your hoomans bring in da Chwistmas twees. But, it’s still okay to have fun.
MEWWWY Christmas from TJ and Bart!
TJ and Bart: Tail Sniffing
Bart: Hewwo, Anipal Times Readers! This is Bart, and we, TJ and Bart, are ready to write another column.
TJ: Dis is TJ, and dis is an important column. Doggos have asked us dis question: Why do our humans become upset when we sniff each other’s tails?
Bart: It is stwange, TJ. What is da problem with them?
TJ: They do not know dat is how we greet each other! We check each other out when we do dat! But humans just get all weird about it.
Bart: Hoomans, y’all do weird things too, like when we poop outside, y’all gather it in paper bags. Why do you want to save our poop?
TJ: I never figured dat one out, Bart.
Bart: Hoomans are strange. Anyway, for you hoomans, when we sniff each other’s tails, it’s our way of saying hello.
TJ: You can tell a lot about a doggo by sniffing its tail.
Bart: Exactly. You know den if you can twust da other dog. If you smell da wong thing, it’s no good
TJ: Dis is how we bweak da ice at da dog parks. Other doggos can be nervous, but when we sniff their tails, it rewaxes dem.
Bart: Dat’s wight. So, for you doggos, be patient with your humans. Dey are stwange.
TJ: And for humans, try to be more understanding. We will twy to be understanding with you.
Until next time. Woof woof!
TJ and Bart: Walking in da Rain
TJ: Good evening! We are TJ and Bart. We are both Doxies, and we write for da Anipal Times. Dis is TJ.
Bart: Dis is Bart. I am a purebred Doxie. TJ is a mix. But we love him anyway.
TJ: Dat not nice, Bart.
Bart: It’s da truth!
TJ: Okay, let’s talk about doggie walks. Our people always ask why doggos dislike walking in da rain?
Bart: Yeah! Dis is so simple. Cause we dislike walking on wet grass. Having wet grass on your tummy…and other areas…is not a good feeling.
TJ: And den when we want to go inside, the human wants us to stay outside until we finish!
Bart: I cannot see why dey get upset when we use da bathroom inside da house!
TJ: Humans are weird. Doggos, if you’re reading dis and want to share your thoughts on dis very important topic, let us know!
Bart: Exactly! Now I want a treat! Dis writing is hard work!
TJ: I heard Dat!
TJ and Bart Music column
Hello, Anipal Times! We are TJ and Bart, ready for our second column.
Dis is Bart!
Dis is TJ! Let’s do Dis!
Bart: Today, we are going to talk about music. Our daddy is a DJ and likes to play music on da social media.
TJ: Well, he likes to play da old music. SOOOOOOOOO old.
Bart: It is embarrassing. Daddy only likes to play songs dat are fifty years old.
TJ: I mean, Daddy is playing people like Elton John, a group called America, play Dat Funky Music White Boy, what is dis, Daddy?
Bart: Dis music is stwange. Some of da songs are about people dying in the middle of the songs. Why are people singing about dis?
TJ: And why is Daddy playing dis music? Dat’s what we’re concerned with. Dey were wearing dese ugly bell-bottom pants in da 70s. Why do you want to remember dis?
Bart: Dey even have a song called da Berta Butt Boogie. Ise serious, TJ!
TJ: Humans are weird. I think we need to take a nap to think about dis, Bart.
Bart: Good idea, TJ! See you next time, Anipal Times readers~
Introduction to TJ and Bart!
Bart: Hello! We had to introduce ourselves to Anipal Times readers! My name is Bart!
TJ: And my name is TJ! Hewwo!
Bart: A wittle about ourselves. First, me. Because I am more important.
TJ: What?????
Bart: Never mind! I came to Daddy’s home thwee years ago. It was a vewwy happy day!
TJ: Bart likes to eat more than any doggo I know! He even tries to eat my food!
Bart: You snooze, you whoose, TJ!
TJ: I’m the one who does the work here. I have been here eleven yeaws! I bwavely guard the house all of the time!
Bart: TJ is scared of the dark and thunder.
TJ: Hush! At least I’m not smaller than the fwogs around the house like you are, Bart!
Bart: Whatever! We just got together to share our thoughts on serious issues for doggos.
TJ: We will tackle the controversial issues like, um, tail sniffing and stuff like dat!
Bart: What does controversial mean?
TJ: As you can tell, I am the smart one.
Bart: Whatever! Well, dat’s who we are, Anipal Times readers! Good to meet you!
TJ: Dat wight! Now it’s time for doggo naps! See you soon!
The Anipal Times 