Category: #nipclub

Nipclub, December 11, 2025 Sekurity Update

Nipclub Ugly Sweater Night
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(By Slinky @slinky_the_cat, Sekurity Agent, Late Nite Shift)

I arrived on time. Ragamuffin Raspberry Tart (@sisfurcats) had nothing significant to report. She has the Sekurity Shift right before mine.

I saw Susan and Puddin (@georgiarealist), and Moo @(moothemousecat) had a martini waiting for me when I arrived. TJS (@TJS12145) and Dora K @ (dora_nlk) also were there. Gator (@RealFakeGator) said there were not a lot of security issues so far this evening.

After the last few weeks of craziness, this was most welcome!

I said hello to Louis and Heath (@psiangelic); I mentioned tequila fountains and martini Jacuzzis! Wouldn’t that be fun? We used to make a lot of tequila fountains!

I caught two interlopers out by the delivery entrance. I zip-tied them and locked them up. Easy peasy!

Gator was showing off his ugly sweater; it’s a sweater so heinous that it’s difficult to describe. A fire-breathing kitten setting a Christmas tree on fire, plus skulls wearing Santa hats. Truly a Design by Gator original!

Mizz Bassie (@MizzBassie) was here, and everyone was eating crispy onion rings and talking about the weather, snow, etc. Mizz and I have nice weather; she’s in Florida, and I’m in Jakku. We love nice weather in the winter!

Even Harvey Button (@HarveyButtonNZ) showed up! He doesn’t come into the bar often during the late hours, so it was a treat.

Pearl’s here now, after arriving a bit late because she had no electricity. She served up sweater-shaped cookies and cranberry meowmosas.

I took the golf cart out on the grounds to look for more sekurity risks, but it was quiet. Maybe too quiet. It was a slow night, which was fine by the Sekurity team. More time to party with the pals.

There was a delicious bacon lattice-topped apple pie. The stuff of dreams! That pie recipe should win a prize, like the noble feast prize, according to Sir Pickle (@SirLongpaw)!

I didn’t see Raven (@IndulgedFurries), so Pearl melted some butter, but then Raven showed up! She was having Twitter issues and wasn’t seeing notifications. We were rating butter, bacon, and chocolate in order of awesomeness. Together, they are purvana, declared Sir Pickle!

We talked about cat toys, toy dangers such as rubber bands, hair ties, etc. Then Vampy (@adorabully) showed up late to say hello. It’s nice to see everyone at Nipclub. I caught two interlopers, so it was not bad for an Ugly Sweater night!

Until next week

Nipclub December 4, 2025 Sekurity Update

slinky sekurity
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12-4-25 Nipclub

Tonight, we were sledding in the Scottish Highlands with fluffy cows! I had double-parked my spaceship, then had to move it to make space for all the sleds and cows. Nine interlopers had already infiltrated the grounds before I even started my shift.

Tonight, I have Niles as my Scottish highland steer Sekurity sidekick. Moo (@moothemousecat) is serving drams of 18-year-old Glenlivet single-malt with coffee, hot cacao, and drool-worthy blueberry cake. I shall grab a bite before exiting with Niles.

So many spammers tonight, I suggested remodeling the holding cell, and Breeze (@kittehdaboi), aka K-Boi, as I affectionately call him, suggested packing them tighter. Gator (@RealFakeGator) mentioned the empty cells in the basement, but I thought that was a rumor. Didn’t know we had a basement.

Pearl (@TinyPearlCat), Breeze, P & Jeego (@SeattleP), and Sassy (@3phiboticceli) etc. are all here. Moo’s finishing up her shift with crab cakes and fries; tasty, hot food for a shivery snow day. I’m scouting around for interlopers with Niles.

Later, recollections involved old friends alongside late-hour companions who drank excessively, courting issues. I suggested a Scotch whisky fountain, and K-Boi asked if it should be Speyside or Isley. Speyside, if I’m having several drinks! I like Isley for sipping by the fire.

Niles and I went out looking for more sekurity risks, toward the neglected corn maze, and caught a couple of spammers. We went back to the bar to warm up, Niles included. Pearl rewarded us with a Bailey’s hot chocolate. Niles is a great scout. Pearl also made hot toddies, and Niles discovered that the cinnamon stick works as a straw. An edible straw. Too woody for my taste! Pearl also served a delectable ginger cheesecake, and we all chatted some more.

Niles got sleepy, so I knew it was time to take him home to his barn and speed off in my spaceship. It was a fun winter night, filled with hot beverages and great conversation about old times!
Until next week. Slinky the Sekurity Cat

Nipclub November 20, 2025 Sekurity Update

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The theme was Gatsby Glamour at the Roaring ‘20s party night! Gator made the Snick’s Sekurity team natty tuxedos to wear, complete with waistcoats. We looked absolutely dashing! The bar became an Art Déco speakeasy, and the glitzy costumes created a luxurious atmosphere. The champagne had been flowing all day, and when I arrived, Moo (@moothemousecat) was finishing up her shift; she had made some delicious smoked salmon canapes. Salmon and champagne! A match made in heaven!

Breeze (@kittehdaboi) was there, but currently in Twitter jail, so I had to talk to him through the jail cell bars. Luckily, he could still party with us using his alternate account.

It was a bit of a slow night, as I didn’t catch my first spammer until about an hour into my shift! They were trying to sneak in the back way and crash the party.

Tiny Pearl (@tinypearlcat) was barktending, serving up shrimp cocktails, chocolate torte, and champagne punch, and Sir Pickle (@SirLongpaw) was spinning the Catnadian tunes for the late-night bunch. I paused for refreshment with Moo (@moothemousecat) when she reappeared. Pearl really went all out and gave us drinks, fancy food, and candles! It was over the top!

A few more spammers threatened to spoil the fun, so I had to get up and go throttle a couple more while I was enjoying a tender steak. I caught four during my shift, but more always show up the next day, sometimes huddling around the dumpsters. TJS (@TJS12145) usually shows up at #Nipclub later to help corral the interlopers! Keeping the #Nipclub bar safe is my primary job during my shift.

Vampy (@AdorabullyBadge) was unusually chatty, sharing photos, staying up late (or early!), and showing lovely pictures of snow in Scotland! Pearl (@tinypearlcat) and I were discussing how cold weather is affecting the desert areas of the United States.

We discussed time changes and noted that Jakku doesn’t do daylight saving time. This time of year, I arrive for my shift “early” and stay late, and in the summer, I arrive late and stay late! Time is fluid on the internet! Upon closure, I became a cloud, a collection of gold stars, departing the bar. Cool trick.

Until next week!