Hello friends and readers! My name is Squirt. I was an avid reader of the Anipal Times, and I’m so excited that it’s back! This edition promises to surpass its predecessors; therefore, I am honoured to write for the inaugural issue of this fresh publication!

Although, as will become clear, this will not be a regular column about me.

I think many of you will know me from Twitter as @SquirtTheCat, and you may also know that I peacefully strolled across the Rainbow Bridge earlier this year. Please don’t feel sad for me! I had a good, long life full of love and adventure, and I made the most of every single day.

However, I couldn’t bear the thought of my house and my humans without a cat, so I set out to point them toward not one, but two rescue kittens. Trickle is a ginger boy (like me) born on May 10th this year. His former feral mother birthed offspring inside the rescue and then pursued existence elsewhere as a neutered farm cat.

Rescuers found Matilda, a pretty black and white kitten, alone in a supermarket car park. They estimate she is about a month old, like Trickle, the other kitten. Our phenomenal local cat lady, who also runs a rescue centre, nursed her back to health because she was starving, filthy, and close to death.

Staff and Manstaff brought both kittens home on July 20th.

I can watch my home and family from the Bridge, allowing observation of the kittens settling and becoming familiar with their forever dwelling. I’ve been eavesdropping on their conversations.

Are you curious about kitten chatter? Observe this! I’m going to share their chat with you.

This column isn’t about me, so Matilda, Trickle, it’s over to you….

M: “Remember the day we met?”

T: “Yeah, we didn’t know each other, we didn’t know the people in the car, and we didn’t know where we were going. That was a scary day.”

M: “The other cats I knew were huge! You were tiny.”

T: “I was the fourth-biggest kitten in the litter!”

M: “Tell me again, how many were in the litter?”

T: “Five.”

M: *rolls eyes*

T: “I thought you were cute.”

M: “I thought you were weird.”

T: “We’re alright though, aren’t we? You and I, we’re friends and… like brofur and sisfur.”

M: “Yeah, I suppose we are. I’m glad I’m not an only kitten anymore.”

T: “Do you think we look a bit alike?”

M: “You’ve been at the ‘nip, you have. “

T: “Have not.”

M: “Have. Have, have, have, have, have!”

T: *shakes head* “Girls…”

M “Wanna play? Tunnel chase?”

T: “Tired, could do with a nap.”

M: *shakes head* “Boys…”

Oh, those two kittens! I love to watch them and listen to them. Join me next time as I bring you more from them!